Expect the Unexpected

22 Oct

Last time I promised that I’d come back and explain all the mess I’ve gotten my self into…  So, here I am. The last three weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions, confusion, and a lot of internal debates that led me to where I’m standing today. Here’s the explanation:

I’ve been in Paris for nearly 2 months now and everything is really, really good but not quite perfect. Ever since I got here I’ve been struggling to feel completely comfortable with the idea of being an Au Pair and even though I’ve really enjoyed everything I don’t feel like I want to do this for a year. I feel like there’s something missing, like I’m not supposed to be in Paris at this moment and I’ve been trying very, very hard to be completely happy but I’m not one of those who ignores their intuition easily. And yes, my intuition tells me to go back to Mexico. So, I was trying to decide between staying the full year or going back home in December, I discussed it with myself a lot of times and I always found myself wanting to go leave but with the fear of regretting leaving beautiful Paris behind. You could say that I was hoping for a signal that’d tell me what to do and that’s exactly what I got. That same week in which I was trying to make a decision, my host mom (a.k.a boss), lost her job and told me that after October she’d be unemployed and therefore all the time at home and she won’t need a nanny anymore. Sooo, she basically had to fire me and that to me looks like a very clear signal and I decided not to question it.

So, long story short… The plan changed drastically and instead of staying in Paris for 10 months I’m only staying for two (Leaving in 8 days). This I didn’t expect when I initially got to Paris, not even a bit. But who am I to question faith? So now that I’ll be leaving I’m gonna travel for three weeks and I’m going back to Mexico at the end of November. Pretty good, right? And of course I’m sad in a way because I’ve met a lot of cool people that I’ll have to say goodbye to way too soon, I won’t be able to learn as much french as I would have wanted to, and I won’t get to cross everything off my super long bucket list. But that’s life, no one can have it all and at the end of the day I’m happy with my decision and excited about the new chapter that’s gonna start, plus I’ll get to travel around Europe and that I can’t complain about. Thanks mommy, I’ll make sure to bring back macarons to repay you.


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Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

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